Turning anxiety into art
If "art" is a random list of things that gave me a hit of dopamine today
A gratitude list alternative
As a tool to help mitigate my anxiety, my therapist recommended that I start a gratitude practice and look into ways to connect with my local community. As someone who is A: mildly prone to nihilism B: moderately reserved until you get to know me and C: extremely stubborn to a fault, this suggestion wasn’t really feeling on brand. But this morning after 30 minutes of “exercise” i.e., walking, I deserved a little treat. I checked my phone for the address of a new bakery that just opened, switched my dopamine supply from a brisk walk to pain au chocolat, and started scheming. For as long as I can remember, one of the ways I’ve channeled my anxiety is by making lists. Since nothing stresses me out more than the lack of a plan, I always like to have a bank of places to pull from, should a specific urge strike. Today’s necessity: bakery, open at 7:30am, near McCarren Park.
I keep never-ending notes of things I want to eat/do/see/make, with commentary. Extremely detailed google maps lists and excel itineraries for future travels. Endless bookmarked recipes and saved products I’m obsessed with for when I want to shop to fill the void. I realized, I could combine all of this into a substack for the final boss of list making AND do my therapy homework. This is my attempt at a more “me” version of a gratitude list and dabbling in community (from afar!) A diary outside of the social media illusion that I can look back on to remind me of all of the silly little things that brought me joy. Even for a second. Are we feeling more grateful already?
Humble bragging
When a friend needs a travel itinerary, a dinner rec for a hyper-specific scenario, or a fragrance that's subtly sexy and not too generic (hi, Extra Milk and I Don’t Know What) I can usually deliver (with pleasure!) For a decade, I’ve worked in brand marketing and product development at some of the biggest indie beauty brands. All while using this “talent” to help curate incredible brand experiences, create marketing campaigns and develop efficacious, sensorial products. And write copy. So. Much. Copy. Working for these brands consumed most of my adult life and led to some pretty serious burnout, that it feels rebellious to have a mini project that belongs only to me. Unfortunately, I’m too millennial for Tiktok, too self-effacing to ever think I should be making “content” and way too shy for shameless self promotion. This platform feels like a perfectly low stakes, anxiety-friendly way to dabble in self expression. At 33, I’m exploring boundaries and how to achieve work life balance!
Join my spiral
It feels weird to invite people to subscribe to my thinking, but my goal is less subscribers and more creative space to help with anxiety management. To direct my energy to something that doesn’t have a goal attached, and just swap reccs with whoever wants to chat about the silly little things that brought them joy recently. It feels like the introvert’s intro to community. Positive, unfiltered connection I can engage in even when I’m spiraling on my couch at 2 am.
Nonspecific, specifics
How often will I post? Not sure. Probably some combination of 3 times in one week followed by a 2 month internet sabbatical where my phone is exclusively on Do Not Disturb and I forget my password to this site. I’ll attempt to hold myself accountable, but not too accountable. The only certainty is that Zeppy will be a main fixture.
Ok. Posting this immediately before I get scared and delete everything because I’m second guessing what the purpose of this is or why I think more recommendations or opinions need to be on the internet. See ya! xx, Lindz
On the Sonos today:
This read was too good! Ready for a second post of Silly Little Things to read while I sip my morning coffee ☕️
Hope to hear from you more.